I don’t come by faith easily. I have no ideas as to why. My husband like to blame my “overly active logical side that turns me into a Vulcan.” I’m pretty sure that’s nerd-speak for favoring reason over emotion…which I don’t see as an insult. Regardless, I’ve always been certain of 2 things: 1.) God exists. He’s an amazing creator. I cannot look at the world, at my children and deny Him. 2.) I know little else about God.
This week I learned, I also believe in miracles. Real ones. Ones that happen today in our modern world.
I believe because I’m living in the middle of one right now.
Right now, on paper, our finances should not make sense. Right now, my husband should have to have a second job. His main job pays for all our bills but that leaves things like gas and groceries; emergencies savings and debt payoff floating around unfunded.
But somehow, no not “somehow,” but by the grace of God we are making it.
Not only are our ends meeting, but somehow, we’ve been able to absorb 2 more kids this last week and provide for them.
Our miracle has come in the form of clothing, diaper and diaper cream donations.
Our miracle has come in the form of partners willing to stick to an extremely restrictive budget..but the actual miracle part has come in the form of our bank account.
Even though the numbers do not add up on paper (at all), and even though we do not have any additional income; even though we have more, and unexpected expenses…our bank account is not suffering.
Not only are we not suffering, we’re actually in the exact SAME position we were in when my husband was working two jobs–which, granted isn’t easy or fun, but it’s manageable.
I honestly never believed myself worthy of grace–God’s or man’s–but maybe there’s hope for me after all. Maybe, just maybe He sees me a bit differently than I see myself. That would not only be a huge relief…but it would be another miracle.