Life

The Cycle I’m Stuck In.

Grammar Disclaimer: I used incomplete sentences when I’m upset, when I can’t find the right words. It’s intentional. Don’t judge harshly.

I used to be a single mom, so people assume I’m stubborn because I am controlling or unused to sharing responsibility. They tend to assume that I want to do things all on my own. They assume that I don’t like the way  people help. That isn’t it.

Here’s the cycle as I see it:

cycle

I am not trying to be the victim.

I am not saying I’m never at-fault. I’m not saying that I live up to everyone’s hopes and expectations. I’m not saying I don’t grumble or have certain obsessive qualities.

I am saying that it is unfair to routinely let some one down. To routinely not do what you said you would. To routinely check out and leave me holding the bag just and expect me not to get hurt.

It further adds insult to injury when those same people come back and use my legitimate hurt against me. To then turn and tell me it’s my fault for being distant. My fault for taking on too much. My fault for being unreasonable.

I’m very tired of this.

I don’t know how to get out of this cycle..except never to start it again.

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One thought on “The Cycle I’m Stuck In.

  1. I’m sorry. 😦 Obviously I don’t know the specifics, but I’m sorry you’re going through something so tiring.

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