I have been complaining a lot lately about behavior and issues going on here. I have been frustrated and at my wits end. I have spent a significant amount of time crying and researching to try to fix things.
But I somehow forgot in all of this madness, there are these days, these moments which not only make me feel like a homeschooling rock star, but make me feel like an amazing mom. There are moments when I feel really close to my children, and I know that they know how much I love and enjoy them.
I was lucky enough to have a morning like that today.
- J was given the opportunity to take a break from reading the classics for our chapter book “unit studies.” He made me extremely proud when he still chose the classic The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe over Animorphs and Dragonquest even though I tried not to show it too much. (Fun books have a place too).
- Last night I’d chosen 5 vocabulary words from chapter 1 to review with J before we read because I knew they would be strange to him. Our words were: looking-glass, queer, wardrobe, parcel, and faun. After we completed the vocab lesson, he walked over to our book and said in genuine disbelief,
“So this is The Lion, the Witch and the CLOSET?!”
- We also explored http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/primaryhistory/famouspeople/cs_lewis/ and learned about Lewis himself. Okay, I admit, I am slightly obsessed with the man, but I think that learning about an author is important part of understanding an author’s voice and perspective. We recorded some important info in the early stages of our LWW Lapbook.
When I read the very sweet dedication at the beginning of the book, I said to J, “This was actually a letter to a girl named Lucy written by C.S. Lewis who is…” hoping he would say the author. Nope. It went like this.
We laughed. We played. He still learned.
All this reminded me that my son is not only smart, but funny and witty and eager to please.
School is almost always the easiest part of our day. (Like it or not, J really does buckle down and get through it.) These reminders, however, can carry over into every moment of the day we share together.
When his cleverness is hidden in sarcasm and stubbornness; when his sense of humor is hidden in hyperactivity, I just hope I can remember who he is. He is the most life-changing blessing I’ve ever received, and I just never want to forget that. As much as I am determined to be the mom I want to be instead of the mom that I’m forced into by circumstance, I am also determined to allow him to be the person he is, instead of judging him based on the person he’s being because of confusion, a bad day or a new phase.
I have a joy, a privilege that few others in our world have. I not only get to take charge of directing my child’s education, but I get to be with my child. I get to know him. I get to watch his growth and development. I get to tell him every minute of every day that I love him and that I’m proud of him. I remember working full-time and how I would agonize over the missed moments. When he was a toddler, I would catch myself wondering if he’d even realize if something happened to me. I never have to deal with that. I could not be luckier.
And I can’t believe I forgot that.