Um…No One Has Ever Said That…Ever.

So this happened:

Me: J, pick that banana up, and put it on a plate. You can’t leave bananas on the couch.
J: (Moves banana to dining room table. Does not get plate.)
Me: J, you have to get a plate for the banana.
J: (Blank stare)
Me: (Not angry, genuinely wondering what he heard) What did I say?
J: You said I can’t leave the banana on the couch because some one will sit on it.
Me: (Confused, mouth open gaping.)

Um…what? Not only did I not say that. No one has ever said those words in this house. Ever.

This phenomenon is happening a lot these days. There are times when my instructions are either completely ignored or misunderstood to a baffling degree. It isn’t defiance. I know how to handle defiance. That’s what makes it more confusing.

I am taking comfort from the fact that my best friend said her son (about a year older) does the same thing,  but that only convinces me that J is normal…not that I can hold on through this phase. If he were a grown-up, I would push him down for this.

Problem is, he’d get pushed down a lot. (Plus, if he were grown, he’d be too big for me to push down. I’m miserably short–5’2-and he’s destined to be over 6′).

That is all.

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